Something Rotten
by StBridget
Summary: Trust a dog to make Easter difficult. And, they always seem to find that one egg you can't. . .Pet verse


**Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.  
**

 **A/N: bswindle20 wanted a pet verse Easter story, so here you go! Sorry, no bunny ears. :) There's plenty of stuffed bunnies, though. Warning: Violence to stuffed rabbits. No actual rabbits, stuffed or otherwise, were harmed during the writing of this fic. :)**

"Okay, Charlie, time to hunt Easter eggs," Danny told his son. "Here's your basket." He handed a basket laden with goodies to the boy.

Charlie frowned. "It's already got things in it."

"You'll just have to empty it out," Danny said. "Go on, see what the Easter Bunny left you."

Charlie set the basket on the ground and started rummaging through it. Bullet came over to see what he was doing. "Go 'way," Charlie said. "This is mine." He shoved at the dog's nose, but Bullet was undeterred.

Danny came to Charlie's rescue. "Leave it, Bullet!" he said, sternly. Bullet huffed but moved away.

Charlie pulled out a purple stuffed Easter Bunny. He showed it to the dog. "Look, Bullet! Isn't it cute?"

Bullet grr'd and grabbed the rabbit. Charlie tugged at it, trying to get it away from the dog. There was a tearing sound, and the arm came off. Bullet triumphantly shook his head, his prize in his jaws, stuffing flying everywhere. Charlie burst into tears.

Danny gathered the boy in his arms. "Shh, shh, it's okay," he soothed. "We'll sew it back together." He turned to the dog. "Bad, Bullet! Drop it!"

Charlie glared tearfully at Bullet. "Yeah, bad, Bullet!"

Bullet grr'd and backed away, still clutching his prize. Danny bopped him on the nose. "I said, drop it!"

Bullet reluctantly relinquished his prize. Danny picked it up and began shoving stuffing back in. It was a little the worse for wear, but nothing a needle and some thread and a trip through the washer couldn't solve. "I'll fix it," Danny said. "It'll be good as new."

Charlie hiccupped, but the tears stopped. "Promise?"

"I promise," Danny said, solemnly. A rustling attracted his attention, and he turned to see Bullet rooting through the basket. "Hey, out of there!" he yelled.

Bullet lifted his head, a glint of cellophane in his jaws. He immediately began ripping into it. Danny recognized the distinctive shape of Peeps. He grabbed at the box, but the dog's jaws clamped tight, and Danny only succeeded in getting part of it away from him. The detective reached for the remainder, but Bullet hastily gulped it down.

Charlie's tears flowed anew. "He ated my Peeps! He's ruining everything!"

"I'll get you more," Danny promised, desperately hoping there was some store, somewhere in Honolulu—heck, just somewhere on Oahu would do—that still had Peeps—and maybe a purple rabbit while he was at it.

Charlie's tears didn't lessen. Danny changed tracks. "Tell you what, let's put the rest of this stuff in a drawer where Bullet can't get to it and hunt eggs instead, okay?"

Charlie sniffled. "Okay."

"Great," Danny said, relieved. "I just going to go inside and take care of this and make a quick call. You stay here with Bullet, okay?"

"Don't wanna. I'm mad at Bullet," Charlie said. Danny really couldn't blame the kid. He was mad at Bullet, too.

"You don't have to sit next to him," Danny said. He pointed to the top step. "You sit here." Charlie sat. Danny led Bullet several feet away, put him in a sit, and commanded "Stay," hoping the dog would obey for once. Then he retreated into the house.

Danny dialed Steve with one hand and started emptying the contents of the basket into a drawer with the other.

"Hey, buddy, how's the Easter egg hunting going?" Steve said when he picked up.

"It's not," Danny said. "Bullet got into Charlie's basket, and now Charlie's upset."

"That's too bad," Steve said, sympathetically. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah, actually, there is," Danny replied. "I need you to find all the Peeps you can and buy them. Oh, and a purple rabbit, too."

There was a pause. "Danny, you do know it's Easter, right?"

"Yeah, so? The stores will still be open."

"Yeah, but they'll be picked over. I don't know if I can find that stuff."

"Just do the best you can. Please," Danny begged.

Steve sighed. "Fine. Peeps and a rabbit."

"A _purple_ rabbit," Danny emphasized.

"Why does it have to be purple?" Steve asked.

"Because that's the color of the one he has, and it has to look just like it so he won't know the difference."

"Danny," Steve said, "I'll be lucky to find _any_ rabbit, let alone a purple one."

" _Please_ , Steve," Danny begged again.

Another sigh. "Alright. Any particular kind of Peeps? Do those have to be purple, too?" Steve intended it to be sarcastic, but it was lost on Danny.

"No, those can be any kind you find. Thanks, Steve, I really appreciate it."

"I'd say anytime, but I really hope you don't ask this again," Steve said, but Danny could tell he wasn't as put out as he seemed (at least, Danny hoped not).

Danny hung up and went back outside. Charlie was sitting where he left him, but Bullet had moved so his head was resting on Charlie's lap, staring up at him imploringly. Charlie was studiously ignoring the dog.

Danny rubbed his hands together. "Alright," he said, "let's hunt eggs." He handed the basket to Charlie.

Charlie started off across the yard, Bullet trailing behind him. Charlie approached one of the bushes and leaned down to peer under it, Bullet sticking his nose in alongside. Charlie shoved at the dog. "Go 'way."

"He's just trying to help," Danny said.

"Don't want his help," Charlie pouted.

"Bullet, get away from there," Danny said. "Charlie doesn't need help."

Bullet ignored him, continuing to trail after Charlie.

Bullet was actually pretty good at finding eggs. His natural curiosity led him to peer into tight spaces Danny had had to struggle to get under, and they boy and dog found the eggs in no time.

Danny was counting the eggs to make sure Charlie hadn't missed any when Steve showed up. "Did I miss all the fun?" the SEAL asked.

"Just about." He was frowning, and Steve wondered why.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm short an egg."

"Are you sure? Maybe you miscounted."

"No, Steve, I did not miscount," Danny said. "I counted them three times."

"Maybe you didn't hide as many as you thought."

"I know how many eggs I hid," Danny said. "I'm missing one."

"Well, where is it?" Steve asked.

Danny threw up his hands. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Didn't you make a list of where you hid them?"

"No, I did not," Danny said. "Some of us aren't as obsessive compulsive as you are and treat everything as an op. Some of us are creative and like to do things as the mood strikes us."

"You should still make a list," Steve said.

"Well, I didn't," Danny snapped.

"Then, I guess there's nothing you can do about it."

Danny changed the topic. "Where's my stuff?"

Steve handed over the bag. Danny peered inside and found what had to be a dozen packages of Peeps—okay, that was a little overboard. Maybe he should have been more specific. The sugar rush—and crash—would be epic—and, miracle of miractles, a purple rabbit. Except. . ."This isn't the right rabbit."

"What's wrong with it?" Steve asked.

"It's rabbit-shaped."

Steve was confused. "Isn't is supposed to be? What else would it be shaped like?"

"It's supposed to be teddy bear shaped. Like this." Danny showed him the rabbit Bullet had ruined.

"You didn't say that."

Danny waved his hands, the rabbit flopping from side to side as he gestured. "You're supposed to know that! Now, what am I supposed to tell Charlie?"

"Tell me what, Danno?" Charlie asked, magically appearing beside Danny. Danny narrowly missed hitting the boy in the head with the still wildly flying rabbit.

Danny plastered on a smile and held out the new rabbit. "Look what Uncle Steve got you?"

Charlie frowned. "I don't want that one. I want the one Bullet got."

"You can have both," Danny said. "I promised to fix the other one, didn't I?"

Charlie nodded, solemnly, and took the proffered rabbit from Steve. "Okay."

"What do you say to Uncle Steve, Charlie?" Danny prompted.

"Yeah, Danno, what do you say to Uncle Steve?" Steve echoed.

"Thank you, Uncle Steve," Charlie said, dutifully.

"You're welcome, Charlie." Steve raised his eyebrow at Danny. "Don't I get a thank you from you, too? After all, I went to five different stores to find these things."

"Fine. Thank you, Steve. I appreciate it," Danny said.

Steve beamed. "Great! Now, is that ham I smell? How about inviting your best buddy to dinner?"

With that, all thought of purple rabbits, Peeps, and missing eggs vanished. Until several weeks later. Steve had come over, and Bullet bounded out when Danny opened the door. "Bullet, come back here!" Danny shouted.

The dog paid no attention. He bounded into the bushes and rooted around.

"Bullet, get out of there!" Danny shouted again.

The dog obeyed, bounding back to Danny. That's when Danny noticed something in his mouth. "Bullet, drop it!"

Bullet opened his mouth, and something squishy, bad-smelling, and crawling with worms fell out. Danny noticed brightly colored flecks in between the rot.

"What's that?" Danny asked, disgusted.

"I think Bullet found the missing egg," Steve said, helpfully.

Danny just groaned.


End file.
